Oh, the things people type into search engines.... Here are some ways people have been washed from The Tubes onto the Secondmost shores of late:
buttered tabby cat (two hits from this one)
Look, I am second to none in my fandom of butter and tabby cats as discrete entities, but I'm pretty leery about the combination.
a woman i saw in fortnum and mason on december 29th
This is about five words away from a successful pitch for a terrible Jennifer Aniston romcom. If this happens, I WANT A CUT.
But, good luck to you. Bet there's a good story there.
crazy ass squirrel
As opposed to the sane, quiet, reserved squirrels that do not to my knowledge exist? Hence the word "squirrelly"? SQUIRRELS ARE ALL ENDEARING, LOVABLE, BUT UTTERLY UNHINGED, MUCH LIKE AMY SEDARIS. This is what they do. You are welcome.
Really. Just "Consol." I can't even imagine what page of the search results this must have come up in. But we of The Nation of Secondmost salute you, intrepid Googler.