March 24, 2012

Randomness

This is a fascinating reminder of how nothing, even the past, is free of surprise... While scanning glass-plate negatives, an archivist stumbled upon a picture of FDR (then the Assistant Secretary of the Navy) attending a keel-laying ceremony for Battleship 39.  In and of itself, the long-forgotten photograph is an interesting glimpse at the future President as he was in 1914, vigorous and still untouched by polio.  But in one of those novelistic touches Fate enjoys throwing in to reality just to keep things interesting, Battleship 39 would later be known as the USS Arizona.  Primary sources FTW.

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MOM: Pretty nice article.
ME: Yeah.
MOM: Lousy picture of you.
ME: Yeah.
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Pigeons love the roof on the house across the street.  It appears to be something of a singles hangout, the Chauncey's of the wild bird set.  (Yes, I am admitting that my demo is such that I am unaware of what the successor to Chauncey's is.  Probably something like "Madison's House of Alcopop, Disproportionately Loud Bass, and While-U-Wait Body Modification.")  Anyway, point is, pigeons probably don't sound any goofier when trying to pull off a pickup line than humans do.  But the cat only finds one of them amusing.

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ACTUAL (ANNOTATED) EXCERPT FROM GIANT EAGLE'S PINK SLIME PRESS RELEASE:
 "While Boneless Lean Beef Trim [BLBT]* is USDA- and FDA-approved** and has been*** considered safe and nutritious for more than 20 years, recent media attention on BLBT has prompted questions, confusion and a decline in consumer confidence in the product****. After careful review of feedback from our customers*****, Giant Eagle has decided that, effective immediately, the company will no longer source fresh ground beef containing BLBT.******"


*It is uncalled-for to refer to this product as "pink slime" merely because it is slime that is pink.
**NEYPA, the National Ewww Yuck Patooie Administration, registers a dissenting opinion. 
***Odd choice of tense there, no?
****This is not the beef you are looking for.
*****Crap, nobody wants to buy our $3/lb. adulterated meat anymore!  I mean, our extremely appealing Boneless Lean Beef Trim [BLBT]!
******HINT: If it has been processed with ammonia and is easily confused with a vat of strawberry-flavored canned icing, it is not "fresh" anything, and only arguably "beef."