..would turn out to be a tribute to this guy:
|Eric Von Zipper.|
And they called Dick Clark the world's oldest teenager?
But it's actually about this guy:
1) effectively invented the modern zipper and
2) looked disturbingly like my friend Tim (trust me on this one) and
3) I choose to believe was a recurring character in a wildly popular silent film serial comprising Sea-Side Social, Sea-Side Parasol Whist, and How To Respectfully Avert One's Eyes From The Wild Bloomer.